My "Story"

ara, ara, ara...
lumayan udah lama jg ya gw gak ngapa2in nie blog?
gw aja skrg bisa buka nie blog rada malem, gara2 baru ada waktu...

srius, gw capek bgt minggu2 ini....
ada aja kluhan gw kalo plg skolah....dr sminggu, paling cuman ada 1 hari gw bs full sneng
dan gw nyaris gak ada istirahat....
hr ini aja....untuk pertama kalinya stelah skian lama, gw bisa tidur siang

jujur aja, skrg gw tuh bner2 ngarepin libur cpetan dtg
gw mau istirahat.....itu aja
bahkan gw skrg kalo hr minggu, wlaupun kosong, gw pasti ada kgiatan ama keluarga

dan satu lg.....sbenarnya gw stress bgt ama pikiran....
br 2 hr ini gw slese jg ngatur apa yg mesti ada di pikiran gw....ama yg mesti gw lupain....
gw cukup pusing ama urusan2 ujian gw kdepan....
gw bahkan udah gak pduli nilai gw lg......mnurut gw, masa bodo
siapa suruh nyuruh anak klas 12 buat ngurusin plajaran2 gak penting gt....
pokoknya gw ngerti ama dasarnya....mau remed mau apa, terserah
gw cukup sibuk ama urusan lain
kurasa.....gw bkal ngikarin janji gw buat ngambil rangking 1 lg.....
gw mrasa udah gak tertarik ama rangking....(sombong amat -____-")

oh y.....tentang "masalah" itu....
gw memutuskan kali ini gw bkal bner2 ngapus sgalanya dr pikiran gw....ama dr hati gw
memang sulit dan sedih awalnya....tp ini lah yg terbaik....buat gw dan buat yg lainnya
gw udah klewat rasa 'sakit' untuk nerusin hal ini....
I don't really need....people that don't care about me
I'm tired enough.....


sjak pertemuan gw ama si "troublesome boy" 2 minggu lalu.....gw kmbali teringat dan mnyadari...
apa yg mesti gw pgang....apa yg mesti gw capai....
"dia" aja.....gak brubah....bahkan improve dr yg dl gw knal....
gw gak bisa klah....gw gak mau ktinggalan....gw mau brada di tmpt yg sama dgn "org" itu lg....

the gears are moving

yah.....stelah beberapa kali gw mikirin hal ini (di wkt luang, tentunya)
gw bkal ngerubah rutinitas gw
gw memutuskan buat postpone main game dl....tp gw tetap nyoba Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep terbaru :)
itu pun pas hr Sabtu abis bimbel....
gw jg baca komik online bkal gw samain ama jadwal main game, tp gw tetap ngecek Pixiv tiap hr...paling 10 mnitan

oke......ini cukup panjang lbar y?
tp tnang aja....ada kmungkinan dlm wkt lama, gw gak bk nie blog lg....
jd....gw hrap saat gw buka nie blog lg.....smua sdh brubah

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H-6.....
seriously, I've been counting the day before......
Aaargh!!!!!!!!!!

back to the topic,
gw panik bgt skrg!!!
tpatnya gw deg2 bgt........ada 2 hal penting dlm bulan Agustus ini.....
dan gw bner2 berharap kalo keduanya bs slese dgn hasil yg gw harapkan (AMIIIN!!!)

jujur aja, gw tuh pingin nangis....gmana nggak, sesek bgt rasanya.....
khawatir, harapan, yakin, dsb nya tuh pd ada di dlm diri gw....

gw bahkan sm skali gak berharap break dl....
gak pa2 deh gw makin capek, bdan gw makin down....tp gw berharap bgt smua yg diharapin ke gw sukses...

gw mohon....bulan ini adalah bulan yang bkal bikin salah satu perubahan baru di hidup gw

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hahaha........
see.....
dua tujuan gw hilang..................bgitu saja....
org yg gw kagumin slama 3 tahun ini.....hahaha
gw gak tau mau sneng ato mau sdih.....
sneng saingan berkurang......sdih gw gak bs ktemu ama dia lg...ampe kpan pun

tau ah...................

people change.....

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something's off.....so strange
hanya itu yg bs gw pikirin akhir2 ini.....
gw sndiri gak tau knapa.....biasanya kalo ada firasat2 gini, gw udah rada bisa nebak knapa...
tp kali ini gw totally clueless....
dan sayangnya...waktu gw udah mau habis...gw udah gak bisa ngurusin hal2 gini lbih lama...
gw bahkan bkal diem aja tentang si "13"....(kec kalo gw udah gak bisa nahan emosi gw, gw br bkal.....yah, lo taulah)
krn berkat pembicaraan/diskusi gw dgn onya, daniel, dan hendy...gw jd lbih bermotivasi buat klas XII
byak yg mesti gw langsung lakuin bgitu masuk....
smua janji dan sumpah gw bkal jd pengingat gw ngelaluin masa2 ujian nanti....
jd.....gw cuman bisa mendem lg aja pikiran ini......


hahaha, bner2.....
gak nyangka y gw bisa dpt firasat ini pas sbelum klas XII.....ya udahlah, masih ada org lain yg mesti gw kejar....krn gw yakin dia jg udah maju lbih slangkah drpd gw (walau gw jg ragu abis dnger kbar terbaru dia dr spupu gw -___-)...tp gw masih berharap bisa ktemu dia lg kok, hehe
Right?.... "troublesome boy" :)

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Yo yo, akhirnya hari ini bagi raport jg!!
Dan alhamdulillah hasilnya lumayan memuaskan dan ada pningkatan!! XD
Knapa gw sneng?
1. kyk gw blang, akhirnya ada pningkatan nilai jg
2. rank gw naik dr yg waktu semester 1
3. hadiah gw gak jd dtarik (ALHAMDULILLAH BGT!! my lovely blue nano TT___TT)
4. mkanan yg gw mkan dgn sgt rakus...gak dtarik byaran, hehe
5. gw ngerasa lega, stidaknya gw lumayan bisa memuaskan ortu gw...jd mrk gak nyesel udah ngelakuin ama ngeluarin byk biaya buat gw
kyknya itu aja d...hehe

Dan skrg, gw mulai memasuki masa2 liburan trakhir untuk klas XI.
Gw udah ada rencana sie....ada yg liburan breng kluarga ke Bali(finally!) tp ntar pingin ktemuan ama sarah, adit, igna. truus...nyokap mah..kyk biasa....udah ngerencanain bkal nyulik gw kmana aja buat nemenin dia blanja slama liburan -___-"
trus paling gw bkal ngajak 3 org yg gw sebut td buat kumpul dmana gt, hehe kan iseng liburan.
intinya, gw berharap liburan kali ini bs berkesan...krn...gw udah mau melewati btas perjanjian gw....
gw pingin nyelesein smua nya sbelum waktu gw habis :)
Okeee, at last but not the least, HAPPY VACATION!!!! XD

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I'm here, I'm right next to you,
call me, since I'm right here,
trust me, don't fear anything anymore.
My dear, with the invisible threads of fate,
trust me, we are connected by them,
so simply stay and feel my warmth.

I'm listening carefully to the voice in your heart.
I'll pluck away any uneasiness you may have.
I want to tell you again and again that you're not alone.
Everlasting love is right here for sure.

You should try to cry, you should try to rely,
I've decided to take on all your troubles.

I'm here, so it doesn't matter where you were,
call me, we can surely become one,
trust me, our thoughts will never come apart.
My dear, that burden you're holding,
trust me, you should try to put it down,
that is what I am here for.

Just how much sadness were you hiding?
Just how much thoughts did you lock up in your heart?
I will exchange my strength for your pain,
and one day you can turn that strength into kindness.

You may have been seized, you might have been broken,
what's important is that you are still being yourself.

I will always be by your side, forever,
No matter what we won't separate, never ever.
As long as you're here, whatever you do,
please do tell me, whatever you say.
Try to swallow the bitter pains,
but if that's difficult for you, call me call me.
You're my love, you're my shine, you're my dear.
Even if you make enemy of the entire world, trust me.

With me, please don't go away.
Give me, please open your heart.
Feel me, please tell me everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With me, we don't need words.
Give me, we can just look each other in the eyes.
Feel me, leave your everything to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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